Because why do one thing when you can do ALL the things and cry about it later, right? 🦊🔥
Next weekend I’m throwing myself headfirst into a yard + craft sale at The Country Skillet Diner in Naples. It’s basically gonna be Walmart’s clearance aisle meets small-town chaos — vendors, random yard treasures, and probably someone trying to sell you expired Avon lotion from 2003. Pure vibes.
Meanwhile, my life? A hot dumpster fire with glitter on top. I’m drowning in custom orders (thank you, keep them coming, mama needs caffeine money), trying to “organize” my shop even though it looks like Michael’s and Amazon had a love child and it exploded in my living room, and still pretending I’m ever gonna get my life together. Spoiler: I won’t.
And let’s talk about my chickens. Those feathered freeloading assholes are out there eating like queens and giving me… drumroll… ONE egg a day. ONE. Like bitches, I did not sign up to run a goddamn retirement home for hens. Put out or get in the soup pot. 🐓🍲
On top of all that, football season has started. Which means I get to cheer my boy on under those Friday night lights (proud mom moment, obviously) but ALSO deal with the shrieking sideline Karens, the backseat coaching dads, and the absolute war crime that is carpooling with other people’s kids. Honestly? I’d rather raw-dog a cactus. 🙄
So yeah, next weekend is shaping up to be a real circus. Come shop, laugh, and watch me pretend like I’ve got my shit together. Spoiler: I don’t.
And if you can’t make it? Don’t cry — I’ve got new feral merch live on the website. Savage tumblers, unhinged tees, and all the inappropriate sass your soul’s been craving.
🦊 Shop here → [insert link]
See you at the sale — bring your cash, your patience, and if you’re feeling generous… maybe an egg or two, since apparently my hens are on strike.
Tumblers and Trash Talk 
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